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Fifty Miles of Sulphuric Acid

by Captain Ronzo

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1.
Fifty Miles of Sulphuric Acid 02:54
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Fifty Miles of Sulfuric Acid Verse1 Fifty miles of sulfuric acid is all that stands between us From buying a luxury condo right on the surface of Venus It's only 600 degrees centigrade I'll bring some antacid and some lemonade Chorus: Look at all these idiots paying rent on Earth I'll venture into outer space and get my money's worth I'm burning rocket fuel until my tanks are dry You earthling losers can kiss my ass goodbye Verse 2 I got some timeshare property right on Mercury's surface My realtor just chuckled and told me that it's worthless But I've got awesome views of the sun's solar flares The sunburn can be deadly but who the hell cares Chorus: Look at all these idiots paying rent on Earth I'll venture into outer space and get my money's worth I'm burning rocket fuel until my tanks are dry You earthling losers can kiss my ass goodbye Bridge: I got a used spaceship I bought online And all my stuff is bundled up with twine I'll bring some suntan lotion and heavy duty shades I know there's a fortune in real estate .......... to be made! Chorus
2.
Detonators 03:20
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Verse 1 The detonators set so don't you forget To check your watch and drink your scotch To numb the pain of the morning train It's a bumpy ride from side to side partial chorus It's the rock and roll of the zombie patrol Verse 2 It's in effect and it's incorrect Off the scale and doomed to fail Under the gun the countdown begun It's hard to run when you weigh a ton Chorus ticking, ticking, chickens, scare me like the dickens By the time I get to Brooklyn, I'll be mad good lookin' It's the rock and roll of the zombie patrol Bridge 1 Beware the exploding poultry They'll accuse you of adultery rocks in the head geology flirting with ideology Verse 3 Detonator set, you can't stop the clock Your neck gets itchy on the chopping block Under the gun the countdown begun It's hard to run when you weigh a ton Chorus ticking, ticking, chickens, scare me like the dickens By the time I get to Brooklyn, , I'll be mad good lookin' It's the rock and roll of the zombie patrol Bridge 2 Out of jail until the dawn Painted skin and bottled blond A major mullet in disarray Bite the bullet lunch buffet Chorus ticking, ticking, chickens, scare me like the dickens By the time I get to Brooklyn, , I'll be mad good lookin' It's the rock and roll of the zombie patrol He came to New York and thought he would blow up But now all he does is throw up
3.
Feelin Kinda Weird 04:41
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Feeling Kinda Weird! My wrist feels weird My teeth feel weird My lungs feel weird My leg feels weird My epiglottis feels weird My pancreas feels weird My throat is tickling, but I dare not cough. I feel like my toes must be falling off Two or three are gone and I never even missed them There's strange vibrations from my endocrine system Sparks shooting out from my invisible hand A fire broke out in my pituitary gland I'm a hyper paranoid schizo freak But maybe I'll be fine by the middle of the week Chorus: I'm feeling kinda weird. Something ain't right! There's demons in my flesh that keep me up at night How long should it hurt before I know that something's wrong? How long should I sing these words before it's a lousy song? Verse 2: Look at these pills on the drug store shelf What if I just heal all by myself? Why do I waste my time at the doctor? The nurse is crabby as a pissed-off lobster They clearly don't know what's going on I'll stage a sit-in on the White House Lawn I'll do a hunger strike till the end of this crisis Who the hell can eat with these grocery prices? Chorus: I'm feeling kinda weird, the doctors are perplexed They act like I'm as old as tyrannosaurus rex How long should it hurt before I know that something's wrong? How long should I sing these words before it's a lousy song? Bridge: I'm feeling kinda weird. I should stay at home Elevate my chakras in a geodesic dome I'm feeling kinda cold. I'm feeling kinda warm. I feel my third eye is in the eye of the storm Spinning around and making me shiver The germs are building condos in my liver I looked in the mirror, I saw three faces How can I achieve homeostasis? Chorus
4.
Rocks in your Head 02:28
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Rocks in my head I don't need to be a geologist to see You got rocks in your head, you live in a fantasy And I take it for granite You're from a different planet Than me I can hear them rattle around inside your skull Nothing too sharp, these rocks are really dull Nothing that might cause a spark These rocks are always in the dark Rockhead! The problem is that these rocks are really loud Sharing your stone age vision with your crowd All your blabbering on, I get no peace Studying rocks just ain't my expertise Are they igneous rocks? or sedimentary? Or maybe Metamorphic? Or just plain scary? You've got a head that's filled with rock Your brain cells seem to be out of stock Some people's brains are a precious gem But you're sure as hell not one of them Rockhead! repeat first verse I don't need to be a geologist to see You got rocks in your head, you live in a fantasy And I take it for granite You're from a different planet Than me
5.
God’s Going to Kick My Ass 04:13
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God says he's going to kick my ass My car is guzzling too much gas God's really getting in my face I need to start cleaning up this place God called me a dirty fink All his animals are going extinct He roared in a voice as loud as Slayer He's really pissed off about the ozone layer God says he's going to wring my neck He's really pissed about the Greenhouse effect God is all hot under the collar 'Cause I fucked up nature to make a lousy dollar God going to kick me in the head All of the fish in the lakes are dead God's gonna poke me in the eye There's all this pollution in the sky I'm trying extra hard to stay alive There's going to be hell to pay when I die God's going to pound my head into my chest For leaving the Earth such a fucking mess He'll be yanking out my insides For using all those pesticides For all this irreparable harm God's going to break my fuckng arm God is waiting at the Pearly Gate With a chainsaw ready to amputate He's all ready to cut me to pieces 'Cause I turned the Earth into a pile of feces Now I lay down to sleep I'm up shit's creek and it's way too deep! I sold my soul, I didn't use my head The devil's greedy fingers clutch the end of my bed!
6.
Bats in the Belfry 03:50
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You might be thinking that I don't look so tough But I have got a head full of crazy batshit stuff My brain is an airport for eyeball-eating bats So you better mind your manners you fucking little brats Stand back you freaks, I've got bats in the belfry A tangle with me shall prove to be unhealthy These little buggers flying out of my ears Shall far surpass all your darkest fears Chorus: Bats in the Belfry! (3) Verse 2 Their flapping wings and piercing cries These hungry bats will eat your eyes And then you'll see what I'm talking about So head for the hills and get the fuck out Stand back you freaks, I've got bats in the belfry A tangle with me shall prove to be unhealthy These nocturnal creatures shall run amuck These furry little bastards don't give a fuck Chorus Stand back you freaks, I've got bats in the belfry A tangle with me shall prove to be unhealthy These little buggers flying out of my ears Shall far surpass all your darkest fears Chorus: Bats in the Belfry! (3)
7.
Existential Dread 03:47
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I'm a genius with a shovel I have a way with dirt I can dig a dirty hole And rub it on my shirt I used to think I was clever until I read Camus Now I sit in the parking lot with nothing better to do That dirt that once had meaning. My shovel meant something too Now I sit in the parking lot with nothing better to do Now I see the emptiness When I stare into this hole Now it's only dirt displaced And I'm losing all control Oh my freakin' god, it's existential dread I can't seem to get it out of my head Digging all this angst that life is causing ya The shovel hole dilemma causes nausea Alone among abandoned shopping carts I'm digging the desolation in our hearts
8.
Grasshoppers 04:15
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Scaring Me with that Grasshopper I'm painting with my moustache because it's very long I found a perfect rhino turd so I put it in this song I made a film delicious full of donkey rot And cruising Fifth Ave. with my ocelot You're scaring me with that grasshopper That grasshopper is scaring me Grasshoppers! Delighting my crowd with my coprophage I'm answering the lobster with this fine homage My clocks are melting, there's a burnt giraffe An Andalusian dog cut my eyeball in half You're scaring me with that grasshopper That grasshopper is scaring me Bridge My visions of ant skulls hypnogogic Daddy longlegs dreams defy all logic A bee buzzes around my pomegranate Grand piano masturbation planet Grasshoppers! You're scaring me with that grasshopper That grasshopper is scaring me
9.
World of Sharks 03:27
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World of Sharks Welcome friends to the world of sharks Their teeth start leaving these little marks You might see a pointy fin in your neighbor's lawn Then one of these days your leg will be gone Don't look at me like some kind of loona You'll wake up one day in a can of tuna Chorus You're living in a world of sharks and you're just a minnow Your cover's blown, your comfort zone is out the window They know who you are and they know what you're doing So you better wake up before their teeth start chewing Sharks try to get me with their get rich schemes Mouths full of politics get me with their screams Promising fun if I buy their whatchamacallit Sharks get all friendly and try to snatch my wallet Sharks with commercials to sell me useless things Lady sharks try to get me to buy them diamond rings Chorus Okay, so that's my story, it's probably really boring Anyway, my time is up and I see my shrink is snoring I didn't used to be like this. I think I know the cause You never should've let me go see that movie "Jaws"
10.
Cellblock 8 05:28
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Cellblock Eight Cellblock Eight and don't be late The bell tells me when to salivate Yes, It might seem quite a bummer The boys in Statistics got your number Figured down to a puny decimal Played at a rude and painful decibel The prison decides how your dressed My winning number is on your chest You do not control me - with your damn statistic The Ad machine - is so sadistic I don't have to abide by your demographic But I hear the sound of footsteps from the attic The woodpecker is shouting orders The walls collapse on the servant's quarters I'm a victim of some hard collisions They blame it on all my bad decisions The housing boom destroyed my shack They even canceled my heart attack I can't afford it on my present plan They're even charging me to get a tan These UV rays cost money in case you forget The socialist ozone layer hasn't killed us yet Charging me to wait in the waiting room My fillings rattled loose by the sonic boom Totaling expenses our fingers sure get tired If we miss one penny we surely will be fired Adding on more time they say I need to serve Why can't I adhere to the probability curve?
11.
Penis Enlarger 03:26
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Penis Enlarger I read in a magazine that size does matter It's got to be longer, It's got to be fatter Verse 1 Penis Enlarger - swinging dick dance Now I'm going to need a bigger pair of pants Swinging Dick Dancer! I'm like a sex god come down to Earth Maximum length, maximum girth Swinging Dick Dancer! Chorus Penis Enlarger - swinging dick dance Now I'm going to need a bigger pair of pants Penis Enlarger! verse 2 I've got the biggest pillar on the block People come to worship my enormous cock Swinging Dick Dancer! King of the jungle - forget about the lions I'm a miracle of medical science Swinging Dick Dancer! Chorus bridge At first I was skeptical, it came in the mail But I'm hung like a beluga whale Chorus Verse 3 I'm like a sex god come down to Earth Maximum length, maximum girth Swinging Dick Dancer! I've got the biggest pillar on the block People come to worship my enormous cock Swinging Dick Dancer! Chorus
12.
Drunk Tank Commando 03:55
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Drunk tank commando Verse 1 Stumbling endlessly to get your fill Friendless, homeless drinking still No longer needed at your job You're stupid, lazy, a fucking slob You've got a duty to show us all How much farther we can fall Verse 2 When we feel we have hit rock bottom We need answers, we know you've got 'em Just when we're sure we can't get much lower You show up and give it a go-er You've got a duty to show us all How much farther we can fall Chorus: Drunk tank commando O tavern tankard clergy Forgive us our ineptitude We are not worthy We stumbled in the dark until discovering The glow of his beer light halo hovering Bridge: A real man, they say, can hold his liquor But I'm lost in a fog and its getting thicker I threw up on my shirt, I'm such a dope But I see you guzzle it down, it gives me hope! Drunk Tank Commando! Chorus
13.
Turret Syndrome 03:24
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I live in a turret that towers over the city I don't need your sympathy, I don't need your pity My shit goes out the window, I don't have no plumbing You better be looking up or you won't see it coming I live in a turret, beware of the falling turd All the muddled masses hang on every word That spring from my lips - such a revelation Falling down like smart turds on all of creation People having issues with my splendid turret All their petty insults do nothing to obscure it Go and gnash your teeth, I don't want to fight Your anger seems superfluous from this lofty height It's the polar opposite of an ivory tower A towering dump suitable tomake the lowlifes cower I must be a rock star, I'm come to this conclusion Why do you try to cure me of this fine delusion? I live in a turret that is high above your head I even live upstairs from existential dread The view is just incredible from this elevation Watching people mill around, it's quite an education People having issues with my splendid turret All their petty insults do nothing to obscure it Go and gnash your teeth, I don't want to fight Your anger seems superfluous from this lofty height

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New original songs - Ron Richter ©2023

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released November 9, 2023

All songs written by Captain Ronzo (Ron Richter), guitar, bass and vocals by Captain Ronzo. Artwork by Ron Richter. New original songs - Ron Richter ©2023

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Captain Ronzo New York, New York

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